WRITING TASK 1 (EVALUATION 2)

Author's note: I used to have a graphic illustration for this writing. But it turns out that neither using such image nor providing a url directing to it is considered as fair use, and I really want to make this blog as legal as possible, and to avoid having problems with copyright infringement. Please use the keyword of each first sentence of my writing to find the illustration from the website of the legal copyright holder.

The diagram illustrates the proportion of water usage for various aims over the world in six different regions. The data consists of six regions which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia. The proportion of the use of water is presented in percentage. The graph has two trends, in which the pie charts could be categorized as the dominant or not dominant.





According to the research's result, the majority of water used in Africa, South America, and two areas in Asia which consist of developing countries, is for agriculture. In contrast, in developed countries' areas such as North America and Europe, industrial use dominates the proportion.





Farming in Africa, South America, Central Asia, and South East Asia is dominating the percentage of water used by 84%, 71%, 88%, and 81% accordingly. Industrial purpose of water usage come to last in those 4 areas.





However, most of the water distribution in Europe and North America goes to industrial area, each with 53% and 48% proportion. The least percentage of water usage goes to domestic use by 15% and 13% accordingly.

Correction
Arrangement of the ideas:
Don’t forget to explain the variables as in The data consists of six regions which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia

Don’t forget to explain the trends as in The proportion of the use of water is presented in percentage. The graph has two trends, in which the pie charts could be categorized as the dominant or not dominant.



Do not include information which are not presented in the data, be objective. Omit According to the research's result
developing countries
developed countries

Grammar:
There are two most essential rules when making an English sentence.
First, rule of time (tense) and the rule of number. Stick to them. Various signifies that the Noun is likely to be plural, so add ‘s’ inflection after aim.
Do not use present continuous since we are not quite sure to what extent (in terms of time) does this data apply. Use simple present instead.
Each – with are: disambiguation
The word goes to doesn’t sound right for such inanimate subject, so replace it with “is that of”


-Ross

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